-Edward-
I should’ve seen it coming—the way her voice caught, the subtle shift in her gaze. But still, when she said it, the words managed to land like a blow I hadn’t braced for.
“The proposal.”
I went still. Instinct more than anything else. As if quieting every muscle in my body might stop time, might prevent what I knew was coming.
She noticed.
Of course she did.
And I hated that she did.
Because what she saw wasn’t control. It was dread. The kind that coils in your chest when hope turns into a liability. The kind you only feel when someone you love holds something fragile enough to destroy you.
“It’s not about how I feel about you,” she said quickly, her voice low and certain. “I love you. That’s not the issue. It never has been.”
Those words—I love you—should have been enough to breathe life back into me. But they couldn’t reach past the steel tension locking every joint in place.
I swallowed hard, barely trusting my voice. “Then what is?”
She hesitated. Just long enough for me to prepare for the worst.
“It’s… fear, I guess.”
Her honesty was like fire and ice—scalding and clean. And I deserved every word.
My brow furrowed, trying not to flinch, trying not to panic.
“I’m afraid,” she continued, her voice trembling but sure, “that if I say yes—if I commit to you completely—and something goes wrong, you’ll leave. Like last time. That I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone again. And this time I don’t think I’d survive it.”
She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t trying to punish me. That would’ve been easier to handle. This was worse.
She was just telling the truth.
And it shattered something in me.
Because no matter how many promises I made, no matter how many times I said never again, she’d already lived through the worst version of me. And she hadn’t forgotten. Not really.
How could she?
I wanted to pull her into my arms and swear the world still, just to keep her from ever feeling that fear again. But that wouldn’t undo the past. It wouldn’t rewrite the silence I’d left her in. The lies I’d told her to make her let me go.
I had broken something in her. And no matter how tightly she held my hand now, a part of her was still bracing for the day I’d let go again.
And the worst part?
I didn’t blame her.
“I want to be with you, Edward. You’re it for me. That’s not what I’m afraid of.”
Her voice broke slightly on the last words, and I felt it like a fracture in my chest.
“I just need to believe that you won’t run next time things get hard. That this isn’t about… avoiding a deadline.”
Deadline.
The word stung with brutal clarity.
Not because she was wrong—but because she was right.
I had asked her to marry me in the shadow of a clock I couldn’t stop. The Volturi loomed over every breath we took now, and in some fractured part of me, I’d tried to anchor us with something I believed in. Something pure. Love. Devotion. A future.
But she needed more than belief.
She needed proof.
Her eyes didn’t waver when she said it, and neither did mine when I looked at her—really looked at her—and understood.
Not rejection. Not fear of me.
Fear of the silence. The loss. The aftermath of my mistakes.
“I want forever,” she whispered, and it hit me harder than anything else. Not because I’d doubted it, but because I’d hoped for it too desperately.
“I do. I’m just not ready to put a ring on something I’m still scared to believe in.”
That stopped time.
No breath, no heartbeat, no thought beyond the ache in my chest and the way she was looking at me—like she wanted to believe in me again, but couldn’t afford to gamble what little of herself she had left.
And she shouldn’t have to.
She’d lost too much already to this world. To me.
So I nodded. Not just to acknowledge her words, but to offer her everything I had left.
“I’ll wait,” I said quietly. “As long as it takes. I won’t ask again until you’re ready.”
There was a stillness in the room after that, not awkward, not heavy—just full. Weighted with things unsaid and still understood.
I didn’t reach for her. I didn’t move.
I simply stayed, grounded in the one thing I could give her without condition: time.
If she needed a thousand nights to trust in forever, I would meet each one beside her—never asking, never pushing—until her yes came from the place where doubt no longer lived.
Because I loved her.
And this time, I wasn’t leaving.
***
I came down the stairs quietly, still reeling from the conversation I’d just had with Bella. Her words clung to me—raw, honest, laced with fear. She loved me, yes. But that wasn’t what she was afraid of. It was losing me. Again.
That truth echoed through every step.
Emmett was stretched out on the couch, lazily tossing a baseball in the air and catching it with one hand. His eyes flicked toward me as I entered.
“Are the others back already?” I asked, keeping my voice even.
He nodded. “They’ll be here in a few. Carlisle said they were wrapping up the hunt.”
I turned toward the window. Rosalie stood nearby, staring out into the trees. Her expression was difficult to read, but I didn’t miss the tension in her frame.
“What was that earlier, Rose? With Bella?”
She turned, meeting my gaze. Her eyes dropped, and I watched the rigid line of her shoulders soften.
“I saw what losing her did to you,” she said. “I still don’t agree with everything… but I get it now. If she keeps you grounded, I’ll make an effort.”
I stepped closer and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
And it did. More than I could say.
Her thoughts wavered uncertainly. She’ll forgive me, won’t she?
“She forgave me,” I answered softly. “I think she’ll be glad to have you as a friend.”
Rosalie offered a small smile, and I couldn’t help but return it. I squeezed her shoulder once before letting go and sat down beside her. For a moment, the silence in the room felt almost peaceful.
Then I heard them—footsteps approaching the house from the back. Too light for humans. Too deliberate.
I focused, reaching for their thoughts—but Carlisle was reciting dry medical text, Alice had lyrics looping in Arabic, and Jasper was mentally diagramming hand signals. Too clean. Too careful.
They were hiding something.
By the time the door opened, I was already on my feet.
Carlisle’s mind was the first to crack open.
They’ve made their decision.
“No,” I snapped.
“We knew this was coming,” he said calmly. “You didn’t think they’d just walk away from this, did you?”
“I hoped they would.” My tone was bitter.
Alice’s mind flickered, showing me a vision—Bella standing in the meadow. All of us behind her. Across the clearing, the Volturi: silent, shrouded. And then… black. Total nothingness.
“They’re not alone,” I said. “The vision—it cuts out. Just like before.”
“You think the wolves are involved?” Alice asked, wary.
“They have to be. When Bella went to La Push, your sight disappeared. It’s them. They’ll be in that meadow.”
“But why?” Emmett asked. “You think they’ll help us?”
“They won’t be there for us,” I said. “They’ll be there for Bella. Jacob Black loves her. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her—not if he could help it.”
Carlisle considered that. “You believe he’d convince his pack to intervene?”
“We don’t need them to fight for us. Just to protect her. That might be enough.”
Rosalie’s voice was cautious. “You’re seriously planning to reach out to them?”
I nodded. “Bella can contact Jacob. We arrange a neutral meeting. Share the truth. Let him carry it back to his Alpha.”
Emmett whistled. “You’ve thought this through.”
“I’ve had to.”
He nodded once, serious. “So what do we tell Bella?”
I exhaled through my nose. “We don’t lie. But we don’t overwhelm her either. Not all at once.”
“She needs the full truth,” Jasper said quietly, firmly. “What we’re facing. What she’s walking into.”
My jaw clenched. “No.”
“Yes,” he said again. “If there’s going to be a fight, she needs to be prepared.”
Carlisle nodded. “He’s right. She’s earned that much.”
Rosalie looked toward the stairs. “When do we tell her?”
“When she wakes,” Alice said. She was searching again—visions darting behind her eyes. “It’ll be soon.”
She paused. “Four weeks. Maybe six. The meadow looks fresh. Spring. After rain.”
“We prep for four,” Jasper said.
Carlisle looked at Alice. “Should we call for help? Ask the Denali coven?”
Alice’s face shifted. “They won’t come. Laurent crosses into their land in a few days. The wolves will kill him. Irina won’t forgive that. Her sisters will stay with her.”
“Laurent?” Carlisle asked. “Why would he come back?”
Then I saw it—flashed through Alice’s mind. Fire red hair. A predator’s smile.
“Victoria,” I breathed.
Emmett stood. “She’s still around?”
“She’s sending Laurent to find Bella,” Alice said. “She’s not done. She wants revenge.”
“Mate for mate,” I said with her.
“Unbelievable,” Emmett muttered. “Volturi. Wolves. Victoria. What next?”
“Victoria isn’t our primary concern,” Jasper said. “We handle the Volturi first.”
Carlisle nodded grimly. “Right. If they arrive and demand Bella’s life—”
“They won’t have her,” I growled. “I’ll die first.”
Rosalie crossed her arms. “So… do we stand a chance? Alice?”
She frowned. “I can’t see. The wolves—they’re blocking everything.”
I didn’t realize I was snarling until the sound filled the room.
Then I moved.
I didn’t remember grabbing the television. Didn’t feel it splinter in my hands until it was too late.
“Oh hell,” I hissed, staring at the shattered screen.
I threw the halves to the ground and bolted out the door.
The forest swallowed me.
I ran north. Through trees. Over rivers. Past borders. Until the air was cold and sharp. Until the ache inside me found a rhythm in the wind.
What if we failed? What if the Volturi demanded her death?
What if this time… there was no way out?
I dropped to the earth, breathless, empty, and buried my face in my hands.
No.
I couldn’t lose her.
She deserved to know what this life would mean. The cost. The burn. The blood. Jasper’s story. She had to hear it.
Eventually, I rose. Found the scent of a mountain lion. Tracked. Fed. Twice more after that. I needed the calm.
By the time I returned, it was nearly midday. My family was seated around the dining room table, quietly discussing next steps. I stopped just long enough to let them know I was back.
Then I climbed the stairs.
Back to her.
Back to the only reason I had for hope at all.
I woke her with a kiss, gentle and deliberate. Her eyes fluttered open, warm with sleep and something softer I didn’t deserve.
“Should I get up?” she murmured, her voice still heavy with dreams.
“Yes. We have a lot we need to talk about. Some things have happened while you were asleep.”
Her breath caught. I saw the panic bloom in her expression before she could hide it.
“The Volturi,” she whispered, her eyes wide, her voice shaking. Her chest began to rise too quickly, breath catching and skipping.
“Bella, love—calm down.” I instantly regretted how I’d said it. Too abrupt. Too revealing. I reached out, resting my hand against her cheek, grounding both of us. “We’ve figured a few things out, that’s all. We’ll talk downstairs.”
She closed her eyes, forcing her breath to slow. I hated that I’d made her feel this way, hated that the first thing she woke up to was fear.
After a moment, she nodded, but her voice still trembled. “I need a shower, and then I’ll be fine.”
She rose and disappeared into the bathroom with a towel and robe, and I sank back against the pillows, quietly berating myself. I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that. Why did I always end up saying too much when it came to her?
Because I couldn’t help it. Because it was her.
I changed into clean clothes and stood by the bathroom door, waiting—not rushing her, just… needing to know she was still with me on the other side.
Eventually, she emerged wrapped in a robe, hair twisted up in a towel, her expression calmer but still guarded. She stopped when she saw me, then smiled—small, but real. I leaned in, brushing my lips against hers.
She walked past me back into the bedroom to change, and I stayed rooted where I was, knowing full well if I followed her, I wouldn’t leave that room for hours.
When she finally returned, she was wearing black jeans and a gray tank top that hugged her frame. Her damp hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. It took everything in me not to pull her back into the room.
Instead, I reached for her hand, and together, we descended the stairs.
I squeezed her hand as we stepped into the dining room.
The moment we crossed the threshold, the room changed. Conversations halted. Expressions sobered. No one spoke.
Rosalie’s face was unreadable. Alice gave Bella a tight, worried smile. Jasper’s eyes flickered over her, reading the subtle tension in her shoulders. Carlisle stood at the head of the table, calm as always, but his eyes were sharp.
I pulled out the chair beside mine for Bella. She sat down, carefully composed, and I took the seat opposite Carlisle.
Carlisle folded his hands. “We need to bring Bella up to speed.”
I tightened my grip on her hand beneath the table. “She already knows the Volturi are coming, we told that much.”
That drew reactions. Rosalie’s brow creased. Emmett stiffened. Jasper’s jaw locked.
“She guessed that’s what we wanted to talk to her about,” I said aloud before the wave of unspoken judgment could build. “She woke up and I told her we needed to talk. She put it together.”
“He’s right,” Bella said softly. “I figured it out.”
Carlisle’s voice remained level. “What exactly do you know, Bella?”
“That the Volturi don’t let anyone expose the secret. And that… they’re not coming here without a purpose.” She hesitated, glancing at me. “They’re coming because I know too much.”
I flinched. Hearing her say it aloud was worse than saying it myself.
Carlisle nodded solemnly. “That is their concern.”
Bella’s eyes went wide. “Then you have to leave. All of you. If they think you’ve broken some law, maybe they’ll back off if you’re not here.”
“Bella, no,” I said immediately, voice low but fierce. “It’s not that simple. Even if we did leave, Demetri would find us. He’s a masterful tracker. They won’t stop.”
“But if they find me here—”
“They’re already coming because of you,” I said, hating the way the words tasted in my mouth. “It doesn’t matter where we are. They’ll come to finish this.”
Her face paled, but she nodded slowly, almost as if she’d been expecting it.
“Bella,” Carlisle said gently, “you need to understand. The Volturi have one law that matters above all else—keep our existence hidden. If that law is broken…” He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to.
Bella’s voice was barely a whisper. “And those who know too much…”
I looked at her, holding her gaze. “There are only two options for someone who knows what you do.”
She didn’t move. Didn’t blink.
I swallowed the dread building in my throat. “Immortal life. Or death.”
The silence was heavy. Then Bella spoke.
“I know,” she said, her voice clearer now, steadier. “I figured that out, too.”
I frowned. Something was off. Her body was too still. Her tone too resigned.
Then she dropped her eyes, ashamed. “I heard you.”
A pause. My heart—what was left of it—clenched.
“What do you mean?” I asked, barely breathing.
“Last night,” she admitted, her voice trembling now. “When you were downstairs. You, Alice, and Carlisle. I wasn’t really asleep. I heard everything.”
My mind reeled backward—my voice cracking in that dim room, Carlisle’s quiet warning, Alice’s calm certainty that Bella would eventually choose this life… even if it killed her.
I closed my eyes for half a second, crushed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to. I just… I woke up, and you weren’t there.”
The words slammed into me with more force than a physical blow.
I opened my eyes. She was watching me closely now, her own brimming with apology, but also something else—resolve.
“You heard everything?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
She nodded.
I ran a hand over my face, a familiar wave of self-loathing rising. “I never wanted you to carry that burden. Not yet.”
“I already was,” she said. “I knew they were coming. I just didn’t know when.”
I stared at her, my beautiful, infuriating, selfless girl—so calm, even now. “You shouldn’t have had to hear it that way.”
“Maybe not,” she said. “But now I know. And I’m not sorry.”
I couldn’t speak. There was too much—too many emotions tangled up in my chest. Guilt. Love. Fury. Terror.
And underneath it all, the cold truth: her time was running out.
“We’ll protect you,” I said finally, my voice hoarse. “Whatever it takes.”
She reached for my hand again, and I clung to it like a lifeline.
Her knowing didn’t change the danger. But it changed the weight I’d been carrying. I wasn’t holding this alone anymore.
She knew.
And she was still here.
Carlisle leaned forward, his voice calm but deliberate.
“There’s one more thing we need to consider.”
I turned toward him, already sensing where this was going. My hand tightened slightly around Bella’s.
He looked at her gently. “Bella, you need to reach out to Jacob Black.”
She blinked. “Jacob?”
Even without hearing her thoughts, I could see the confusion ripple across her face. “Why?”
Carlisle glanced at me before answering. “We believe… he may have information we need. About what’s happening in the woods near Forks. It could be important.”
I didn’t miss the careful wording. Not yet. Not now. She didn’t know the truth about Jacob, about what he had become. That revelation wasn’t ours to give.
Yet.
Bella nodded slowly. “Okay. I can call him. I just… haven’t spoken to him much in a while.”
Her voice dipped a little at that. I could hear the undercurrent of hurt she didn’t want to acknowledge.
I reached for her other hand, brushing my thumb lightly across her knuckles.
“Call him,” I said quietly. “Today.”
She looked at me, uncertain.
I gave her a small, strained smile. “It’s important.”
She hesitated. Then nodded once. “All right. I will.”
And just like that, the balance shifted again.
The room fell silent as the weight of what was coming settled around us.
The Volturi were on their way.
And we weren’t ready.
Not yet.
But we would be.
We had to be.
1.7562 Billion Miles 