A tangle of emotions surfaced as I opened my eyes to the dim light filtering through the window. The house was quiet, the stillness almost unfamiliar. I rolled over, groggy, reaching for the clock on the nightstand—5:03 a.m. The sun wouldn’t be up for another hour, but I was already awake, my body restless.
I shifted back, instinctively reaching for Edward.
Cold sheets.
My heart stumbled. For one disoriented moment, I panicked—was this just a dream? Had I imagined everything? The proposal, the ring, the gentle quiet of last night?
I fumbled to flip on the lamp. The sudden brightness stung my eyes, and I blinked hard until my vision adjusted. And then, relief: his room. The heavy curtains, the shelves of music, the faint scent of his skin on the pillows. I was still here. With him. Or at least, I had been.
He must be hunting.
I exhaled, pressing a hand to my chest as my pulse settled. Of course. It would take time to stop fearing absence. To unlearn the habit of expecting him to vanish.
That thought left me with a hollow ache of guilt. He was doing everything right, everything he could, and I still questioned. But I would get better—I would trust him again. Slowly. Honestly.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and headed for the shower.
When I finally stumbled downstairs, still pulling my sleeves into place, the house was quiet. I crossed the living room and sank into the couch, fighting off the heaviness that clung to my limbs. I’d barely settled before Esme appeared beside me, carrying a large silver tray.
My eyes widened.
A spread of eggs, crepes, bagels, pastries—enough to feed a small army—lined the tray in tidy rows. But what caught my eye wasn’t the food. Nestled between the plates, folded in half, was a slip of thick, cream-colored paper.
I recognized it instantly.
The same paper Edward had used for the letter he’d left beneath the floorboards.
I looked up at Esme, startled.
She smiled gently and placed the tray beside me. “He asked me to bring this to you,” she said quietly.
“You should eat,” she said gently. “You’ll need your strength for school today.”
I groaned. “God, school. I forgot all about it.” My hand went to my forehead. “I must be so behind.”
Esme gave me a soft, knowing smile—the kind only a mother could pull off. “Not really. Edward and Alice took care of everything.”
I blinked. “What do you mean?” My voice turned cautious. “They didn’t… explain things, did they?”
Esme chuckled lightly. “No, nothing like that. Charlie told the school you’d come down with a nasty case of pneumonia. Edward and Alice just… continued the story when they picked up your homework.”
I frowned, still confused. “So… where’s my work then? I’d like to get a head start before class. Two weeks of catch-up is going to be brutal.”
“You really don’t have that much. Edward and Alice handled most of it for you. Just a few essays left.”
My eyes widened. “They did my assignments?”
Esme looked at me carefully. “They just didn’t want you to fall behind. Graduation isn’t far away.”
Normally I would’ve felt weird about it—maybe even protested. But the truth was, I didn’t have the energy to feel guilty about help I hadn’t asked for. I was grateful.
“I’m not mad,” I admitted. “Actually… it’s kind of a relief.”
“Good,” she said, smiling again. “Now eat up.”
She didn’t leave, but rather just stepped back and let me take it in.
I picked up the folded note resting in the center of the tray.
Enjoy the food Esme made; she’s been busy all night with it.
Went hunting with Jasper. I’ll be back at six for school. I love you.
~Edward
I smiled without meaning to. He could be infuriatingly protective and annoyingly self-sacrificing—but he also loved me with his whole self. That much I was learning not to doubt.
I reached for a muffin and took a bite. Warm, soft, lemony. The comfort in that simple act made me realize how hungry I actually was. I grabbed another.
Five minutes to six. He’d be walking in any second.
Esme smiled with her usual grace. “Did you eat all you wanted?”
I nodded. “I feel bad though… you made all this and I barely dented it.”
She waved off the concern. “I’ll pack up the rest. You can snack through the day. It was no trouble, really—I enjoyed it. I won’t have many more chances to cook for you.”
Something in my chest pinched. That reminder—of the change coming—brought with it both excitement and a whisper of sadness.
“Thank you, Esme. It was really wonderful. I didn’t even know vampires could cook.”
She laughed. “We keep some of our human talents. I’ve always loved cooking. A century of practice just makes it look easy.”
I grinned. “Where is everyone else?”
“Alice is upstairs getting ready for school—though honestly, it’s more of a fashion show than preparation. Emmett and Rosalie took a trip to Seattle for some privacy. Carlisle left for the hospital a few hours ago.”
“And what should I say at school?” I asked. “I assume there’s a story.”
“We told everyone I couldn’t stand L.A., so I dragged the family back to Forks. It’s held up so far. No one should press you.”
Just then, the front door opened, and Edward and Jasper walked in. Esme quietly lifted the tray and vanished as Edward crossed the room and kissed me—quick, firm, and familiar.
“Good morning,” he murmured with a crooked smile.
“Morning. How was hunting?”
“It went well. Jasper and I had some things to talk through.” He hesitated. “He’ll be sharing something with you later.”
I tilted my head, remembering his words from last night. “His story?”
Edward nodded. “He wants you to understand something.”
I looked around. “Where is he now?”
Edward followed my eyes. “He slipped upstairs. He’s… still struggling. He’s not avoiding you. He’s afraid you’re still afraid of him.”
I felt the guilt settle over me like a wet blanket. “Because of what happened on my birthday?”
Edward’s expression softened. “Yes. He worries you see him as a monster now.”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t. I never did. That wasn’t his fault. If anything, it was mine.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. “You’re not to blame for any of it. And neither is he. He’ll come around. In his own time.”
I nodded, not entirely convinced, but willing to believe him—for now.
“Esme told me you and Alice did my homework for me,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
Edward groaned and rolled his eyes. “I knew it. I told Alice you’d be upset, but she insisted her vision said you’d be fine with it.”
“Well,” I said, reaching out to tug his face back toward mine, “I’m not mad. Actually, I’m grateful. Thanks for taking care of it.”
I leaned in and kissed him softly. When I pulled back, his crooked smile was waiting for me.
“You know,” he said, brushing his thumb along my jaw, “you still have two essays left to write.”
I sighed. “Figures. Do you know what subjects?”
“Literature and Civics.”
“Great,” I muttered. “Guess I’ll have to meet with my teachers and see what I missed.”
“I’m sure they’ll go easy on you. You’ve got a good excuse.”
“What about you guys?” I asked. “Don’t you need to catch up?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Alice and I were ahead before we left for Denali. We’re just… waiting for the rest of the class to catch up.”
“Lucky.”
He stood and stretched, casting a look toward the hallway. “I’m going to shower. You okay here by yourself?”
I gave him a look. “Edward. Seriously?”
He smirked, mischief flickering in his eyes. “Well… if you couldn’t bear to be apart from me for even ten minutes, I was thinking maybe you’d like to join me.”
My cheeks flushed. “Nice try.”
“Just putting the offer out there,” he said, backing away with a grin that could have short-circuited my brain.
***
The school parking lot was already packed when we pulled in. Edward hadn’t said much since his shower, which I figured had more to do with me turning down his playful invitation than anything serious. I smiled to myself—he’d get over it.
The day dragged.
Everywhere we went, eyes followed. Edward and I didn’t try to hide that we were back together, and the renewed attention was exhausting. Mike Newton looked especially deflated, but aside from a few curious stares and whispers, most people kept their distance. Only Angela and Ben made an effort to approach us.
“It’s really good to see you back, Bella,” Angela said warmly at lunch. “You look… better.”
“I’m sorry I worried you,” I said, meaning it.
She waved me off. “You don’t owe me anything. Can I ask what happened?”
Edward answered smoothly, “My father had a job offer in L.A., and we had to leave suddenly. But I made a mistake—leaving the way I did. When Esme wanted to come back, I knew I had to try to make things right.”
Angela nodded, accepting that. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
After she left, Edward, Alice, and I cleared our trays and split up for class. As we walked, Edward slipped his hand into mine.
“You all right?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
He hesitated. “It’s hard—seeing their thoughts. Seeing what I did to you.”
I looked away. “It was hard,” I admitted quietly, “but we don’t need to keep kicking that particular dead horse, and I’m not going to keep holding it against you.”
He kissed my temple. “As long as you’re sure.”
***
The day passed quickly after that, and by the time the final bell rang, I was ready to go home. As we crossed the parking lot, I noticed a familiar, beat-up Rabbit parked beside the Volvo.
Jacob stepped out, arms crossed.
Edward’s grip on my hand tightened. I glanced at him—his jaw clenched, expression unreadable. We stopped a few feet from the car. Edward and Jacob locked eyes, tension radiating between them like a live wire. Then Jacob turned, looking at me instead.
“Hey, Bella,” Jake said, his voice tight.
“Hey, Jake.”
He glanced around the crowded lot before speaking again. “Your…guy already knows this. He’s reading it off me as we speak. But I wanted to tell you myself.” His tone was low, cautious. “Sam’s agreed to help. The pack… we all see the threat. These people—whoever they are—they’re as dangerous to us as they are to you. We’ll be there when they come. Just keep us informed.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Jake.”
He exhaled sharply. “Sam also agreed that the decision about your… change is mine. The pack supports whatever I decide.”
He turned to Edward now, his voice steeled. “If you mess this up—if she doesn’t survive it—I’ll end you. You won’t get far. And when I catch you, you’ll beg for death.”
“You needn’t worry,” Edward said calmly. “I won’t… mess up, as you put it.”
Jake turned back to me. “Can we talk alone?”
I hesitated, glanced at Edward. His expression was unreadable, but he gave a subtle nod. I followed Jake a few steps away from the cars, nerves building in my chest. He stopped and faced me, his eyes soft.
“Please don’t do this, Bella.”
I sighed. “Jake… I’ve told you. He’s what I want.”
He stepped closer and cupped my cheeks with his hands, warm and rough. “Bella…”
I looked up at him, my voice caught somewhere in my throat. “Can’t we still be friends? Does it really have to be him or you?”
“It does,” he said quietly. “I can’t just stand by while he changes you. You deserve to live.”
“You mean with you?” I asked. “A life with a werewolf who might lose control in front of me? Jake, I saw Edward in the woods when you started shaking—he was worried. What happens if you go off? Could you stop yourself?”
His jaw tightened, but his hands didn’t leave my face. “Could he?”
“Yes.” My voice didn’t waver. “He already has. He saved me once, when he could’ve let me die.”
Jake clenched his jaw, hurt twisting his expression. “Sorry I’m not the right kind of monster for you, Bella. Guess I’m not as good as your bloodsucker.”
Before I could think, my fist was flying. The impact with his jaw was solid—and instantly, pain exploded through my hand. I gasped, pulling back, clutching the injury. Jake didn’t move. His face was full of something I couldn’t read—regret, maybe.
I spun away without another word, cradling my hand against my chest, and hurried back toward Edward.
He caught me immediately, wrapping his arms around me. I winced.
He pulled back, noticing my hand already beginning to swell. His eyes darkened with fury as he turned to head toward Jake.
“No,” I said quickly, stepping in front of him. I placed my good hand on his chest, grounding him.
Edward looked down at me, breath sharp.
“Don’t,” I said again, steady this time.
Edward’s jaw was tight, his eyes burning. “You’re hurt.”
“I know. But it was me, not him. And if you go after him, the pack will back out. We can’t afford that—not now.”
He didn’t answer at first. I felt the tension in him like a wire pulled taut.
“I want to hit him,” he muttered.
“No, you don’t. You’re just angry.”
Our eyes locked, and I saw something give in him. He exhaled sharply, then reached for me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we turned back toward the car. The ride home was quiet, the kind of silence that held too much inside it. I knew he’d ask about it—just not yet. Not until he could do it calmly.
By the time we got home, my hand was a steady throb. Carlisle was already waiting, medical bag in hand. Without a word, he guided me to the dining room and motioned for me to sit. Edward dropped into the chair beside me, silent, tense.
Carlisle worked quickly, numbing my hand with a small injection before starting to reset the broken bones. His touch was precise, practiced—gentle in a way that made the whole thing bearable. I barely noticed when the cast went on. When he finished, he looked across the table at Edward. No words passed between them, but something did. After a moment, Carlisle nodded faintly and left the room.
I turned to Edward, our eyes meeting over the polished wood of the table. Something unspoken hung between us—weighty and real.
I reached out with my uninjured hand and wrapped my fingers lightly around his. “What are you thinking?” I asked quietly.
He hesitated, then spoke, his voice low and steady. “There are things we need to talk about. Before the Volturi arrive. But first… you need to hear Jasper’s story.”
I exhaled softly, bracing myself. “All right.”
Edward stood and gently pulled me up beside him. We walked into the living room together, where the rest of the family had already gathered in a loose circle. The room was quiet—expectant.
Jasper sat near the window, the light from a nearby lamp casting shadows across his skin. He looked down at his bare forearm, fingers grazing a mark I hadn’t noticed before. It looked exactly like the scar James had left on me.
“What happened to you, Jasper?” I asked without thinking.
He looked up, meeting my gaze. “Just like you… I was bitten. Venom is the only thing that leaves a mark.”
He rolled up his sleeve, and I swallowed hard as I took in the countless crescent-shaped scars etched across his skin. They covered his arm like a constellation.
“Are you ready to hear my story?” he asked.
I nodded.
What followed was unlike anything I’d imagined. He spoke plainly, without embellishment, but the truth of it all hit hard. How Maria had turned him, used him. How he’d trained armies of newborns, only to watch them destroyed when they became liabilities. How town after town had fallen to their ambition.
As he spoke, I began to understand why everyone was so cautious—why Edward had warned me about the change, why I couldn’t see Charlie afterward. I saw what the newborn years meant, what they turned vampires into. Not monsters by nature, but by instinct and blood and survival.
Jasper told me about Peter and Charlotte, about leaving Maria behind, about the weariness that had finally set in. And then, with the first glimmer of real peace in his voice, he spoke about Alice. Meeting her. Finding purpose again.
When he finished, silence settled over the room like a held breath.
I realized then that they weren’t watching Jasper. They were all watching me.
“So… that’s why everyone’s been so careful about turning me?” I asked quietly.
Edward’s arms tightened slightly around my waist. “Yes. You needed to understand what it would be like during the first year.”
I nodded, absorbing it. “How long do I have? I mean, no one’s actually told me when the Volturi are arriving.”
“Alice sees them coming within four to eight weeks,” Jasper said, his tone even. “We’re planning for four.”
I hesitated. “Why wait at all? Why not just… turn me now?”
Edward answered. “We’re going to try to negotiate. Ask for more time—so you can have a little more of your human life first. There’s so much I don’t want you to lose if we can help it.”
“And if they say no?” I already knew the answer. I just needed it confirmed.
Edward’s voice was tight. “Then we don’t have a choice.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay. Let’s say we get lucky and they agree to wait. What then? I still have to finish school. Charlie will notice if I suddenly disappear.”
Carlisle looked thoughtful. “We’ve considered that. Ideally, you’d keep up the appearance of normal life until we can ‘send you off to college.’”
“But that would be dangerous,” Jasper interjected. “She wouldn’t be stable enough for a crowded school. All it takes is one slip.”
“So what?” Rosalie snapped. “You expect her to lie in a coffin while her parents think she’s dead?”
Jasper didn’t flinch. “It may be safer than risking a public scene. We can’t afford exposure.”
“That’s not fair to her—or to her family,” Edward said, his jaw tight.
“It’s not about fairness,” Emmett added. “It’s reality. Better to rip off the bandage than drag it out.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I could do it. I couldn’t sit still and watch Charlie and Renee grieve. I’d want to tell them I was okay.”
Carlisle cleared his throat. “Bella, if we stay and something goes wrong, we could all be exposed. The Volturi already see us as a threat. Adding you to our family gives them one more reason to come after us.”
A pause settled over the room. Then Alice’s voice cut through. “I think we can get her through graduation. It’s risky, but I don’t see her hurting anyone. If we’re careful, I think it’s possible.”
Edward exhaled. “You’re sure?”
“I’m as sure as I can be. The Volturi are still debating. Aro wants to bring her to Italy, but Caius and Marcus are pushing back. So far, it looks like they’ll allow her to stay in Forks.”
Rosalie leaned forward. “Then maybe we fast-track her graduation. Get her the credits she needs early.”
“It’s worth trying,” Edward said quietly, his gaze flicking to me.
I met his eyes, my voice steady. “Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. Together.”
And for once, the silence that followed didn’t feel like dread—it felt like resolve.
***
I sat on the bed, my thoughts spiraling from everything I’d just learned. Becoming a vampire wasn’t going to be graceful—or controlled. The way Jasper described those first months, it sounded like I’d become something unrecognizable. The thirst, the instinct—it would override everything else. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I’d held on to the naive hope that I could ease into this new life without losing the one I already had.
Now, finishing school, seeing Charlie, maintaining even a piece of normalcy—it all felt impossible.
But it wasn’t just the loss of normal life that weighed on me. I couldn’t stop wondering what this would mean for Edward and me. If I became consumed by thirst, would I even recognize the love I felt for him now? And what about him—when the scent that drew him to me was gone, would he still want me the same way? Would we still fit?
I exhaled slowly and lay back on the bed, exhaustion settling in like a heavy blanket. My body ached for rest, but my mind wouldn’t let go. Images of the future—fractured and uncertain—swirled behind my eyes. And eventually, sleep came, uneasy and dark, waiting with everything I didn’t yet understand.
1.7562 Billion Miles 